Disclaimer;


Welcome to my blog, my oh so not so one of a kind blog, its pretty generic consisting of my daily rant to the world.
Psyched;
I don't think you need to know anything about me, im just a normal teenage kid who loves to rant more than anything in the world. Im 19, single apparently, sick of life and all the sh.. that goes with it. so it came to this, welcome to my world. Theirs always a back door...
Memoirs;
March 2009 October 2009 December 2009 January 2010 March 2010 May 2010
Links;
Bleach Obsession Whispered dreams Pen and paper Faded Memories
tagboard;
I have no the slightest of clue what this is for, but ill come up with something... someday
Black Book;
SKIN:
babywingz
X X
dafont
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Slow motion...
You know how in some movies, when someone really cool walks like so slower than the rest, they all have like that slow motion entrance thing going on.

I think i just saw something like that in real life, it was cool yes, but it feels weird to see it in real life.

I dunno what caused it, it must have something to do with breathing and or something >..<

If anyone can explain slow motion to me, step up.


yex signed off at 5:01 PM

Wednesday, March 24, 2010
How dare he
Just another one of my bitter posts, and yet it doesnt feel that way, infact... its quite elating making this post.

Unlike the old days, or so let me say the old me, im sick of it all. So i wont ask questions anymore, instead go with the flow and see where the current leads me. The moment i lost a pillar in my life, i was shattered, but i didn't imagine i had floaters with me, when i drowned in the sea of despair.

The floaters made me feel as light as a feather (although thats visibly impossible) it was a nice feeling, re-assuring i guess, its love, but something much more than that.

 If i find out what it is, i'll let you know, but right now, its more like a question.

BUT EITHER WAY! HOW DARE HE!

make me jealous... or so he think i'll even go there...

maybe i have, i am admitting without question anyway.

BLAH, such a crappy life.


yex signed off at 11:38 PM

Wednesday, January 6, 2010
oath
for 2010, im making a contract with my self, but atleast its real while it lasts right?

I made an oath, no boys, that if ever that there are, i wont work for it as much as i did in the past.

You want jaded? you just woke her up.

Im back bitches.

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yex signed off at 5:12 PM

Saturday, January 2, 2010
pooey
S is dead says (7:22 PM):
well, i have many reasons to kill my self ^-^

Mr. Smexxy says (7:22 PM):
You don't

Mr. Smexxy says (7:23 PM):
because I love you

S is dead says (7:23 PM):
i do

Mr. Smexxy says (7:23 PM):
that's reason enough for you to live

After that i just posted something random... but i couldve said something that could make the mood even darker.

Its what i usually do, but since it is a new year, i decided not to place it.

but i wouldve said...

"Try reasoning with the dagger when it plunges it self through my flesh, try replacing the blood thats now spilled all over the place... Dont play with fire you cant handle, cause in the long run, you might be the one who ends up all idle"

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yex signed off at 7:24 PM

Thursday, December 31, 2009
The boy named Trent
Months Ago

One hot summer day in the University of Westwick, was a day like any other, but unlike those days, something unusual occurred.

If you didn’t live in Westwick its understandable not to have an umbrella with you 99% of the time, but for a commoner, you should know of the unpredictable weather.

But for a girl who lived there since the age of 5, experienced such an unusual event, for an umbrella slipped through her mind.

“This is the first time that this has happened.” She said to her self as she stared up at the sky blue skies, hoping it won’t turn grey, both her nightmares in disguise.

Time went on, and not much had happened, but as it was time to go home, all that was heard was the sound of thunder.

The gushing winds, and the whisking splashes, the sky drops away all of its condensed masses.

She run through the long slippery streets, where everyone and everyone only saw her an odd in all the masses.

She run and run but as she finally reached a shed, she bumped a man as he slowly said “You okay? Strange weather isn’t it?” from his face she already knew, that he was someone not from town. With his unfamiliar face, and his lack of ‘Westwickness’, she knew it, he wasn’t from around.

“Yeah” she couldn’t help but smile and just agree with him for she noticed that like her he was wet all about. “Just visiting?”

He smiled at and said “Nope, just moved in about 2 days ago.” her heart felt a sudden tightening same time as it felt it like fell off somewhere else, somewhere far and distant where no dreams could ever reach of. “Love” she thought, it was love at first sight, “Its so magical” it was something new to her, a weird sensation which was painful yet elating at the same time.

But noticing as she was still just staring at him like a frozen statue after being blessed upon by his dangerous freeze ray like smile, she went to her defrost mode and finally spoke. “Oh I see hahaha” It sounded way sarcastic, but it was the best she could do right after the shock of falling over and up again. “You should bring an umbrella” she added as a short silence filled the small shed.

The silence was cut of with him telling her the exact same words “ You should to ” he smiled at her again, as she just did the same, giggling started rising as it became louder then turned into laughter.

As half an hour passed right under the shabby shed they stood in, it was time to say goodbye, for the rains, started to dry off. “Well it was nice meeting you” he said as he offered his hand for a gentle man hand shake, which she expected from him already knowing him just enough to that point. “Spy” she said then gave her hand to shake his hand back.

“Spy?” he snickered at the thought, holding the laughter in a little bit but didn’t let his composure down and continued and said “I’m Trent” as he shook the already shaking hands harder.

“Well that’s a rare name” Spy said letting go of his hand just staring down at those marble hazel nut greens in his eyes. “Well, yours not really a name, is it?” he joked as she believed that he was staring at hers the same way she was at his.

“Uhuh” Spy then turned around then walked away a little as he was still staring at her walk away from him “I’ll see you around” she said as she turned one last time to wave one last time and waved goodbye. “That didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be” He then followed up before she made a turn into the next street. “Your just turning it onto something you want it to be” she replied poking her head out for one last time and then headed off, with her heart still beating faster and faster, feeling all hot inside… and then.. she sneezes… “I hate the rain!”

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yex signed off at 5:51 AM

Saturday, December 26, 2009
float
"This is it" she thought as she stared at her self infront of the mirror placing cherry lip gloss on nice and easy. Her hair was all nicely combed, and her black dress couldn't go with it any better. "This is it"

The thought of seeing him again after a long going argument made her think of her priorities, there are things that they both like, and things that are just far off one sided. "I've made up my mind"

She took one last look at the mirror as she shut the light close followed by a quick push on the door as she made her way out of her apartment.

Every step that she took felt heavier and heavier as she was getting closer at there said meeting place. "Focus SPY focus" she said as she deflected her thoughts from the piercing stares of everyone around her, they were like tiny needles poking you and poking you until you finally bleed and scream out loud "I've made up my mind"

With a little yell her imaginary thought turned reality, with a little outburst they all stared at her, for real this time, but she kept on walking as she finally saw the familiar figure, of a boy she's sworn to love till eternity does them part.

He heart kept pounding faster and faster, for she did love him, or living him still, but she had to put and end to it, she just had to get over this cliff. "Trent.." he was looking a far as if he didnt see her at all "Your late" was his first word.

Of all the words to say to your all so loyal girl friend who even took the initiative to dress up for you to make her presence grow even by just a little, you just had to kill it off... did you.

"Well, i walked" thinking of the which words to say, she stumbled upon two paths, one is to act all bitchy, and the other was to just act like she always does 'tolerate him'

she chose to tolerate him "Its a waste of money to take a cab just to get here, figured its not that far, so i walked"

Yet again, it was like her words meant nothing, like it just flew right through his ears. "Well, you did want to talk... talk" he then spoke the coldest words she never expected to hear ever coming from a boy who swore to love her back.

"Whats your problem?" with just that line, the flame grew larger "Did i do something wrong by any chance? Cause i dunno, Trent, your the smart one, enlighten me."

They were silenced as a subway passed by but continued when it left again. "I just... dont think i can love anyone who cant love me back..." with those words she knew it, that was it... The It she didnt expect this early on there relationship.

"Your breaking up with me?" she yelled in her mind, she wanted to scream it all out, to slap him about and leave, but she froze, as if shocked releived, but deeply saddened by the fact that he said it.

"Lets cool it off... and maybe see other people" He continued as Spy just walked close to him and rested her right hand on his chest for one last time and left without a word.

"This is it..." she thought as she walked out of the subway station, loveless and emotionless. "The it that never will be" she continued as drops of rain began falling down from the skies, as if greaving for her.

But she thought otherwise "I left my umbrella"

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yex signed off at 3:38 AM

Friday, December 25, 2009
moosic

moosic is the language we all wish to speak, when were lost for words, moosic does all the speaking for us.

So maybe ill post my moosical thoughts here from time to time, ive realle lost the abillity to blog properly, but anywho, here's my first catch.

Mummra, a band i didnt even know existed not after ive watched (500 days) of summer, its cause of a song they wrote, or sang, im not that sure, but anyway the tittle is "She's Got You High"

Despite the tittle it has, it got me high, and the heck with it im a she. I guess its just a really really happy/sad song, which is similar to my blog concept.

The gray corners of life, the blind spots and its hidden corners.

Nothing is what it seems, everything and everyone has its own corners, be it be rounded or sharply pointed... you get the point

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yex signed off at 10:55 AM